Going from one baby to 2 is an enormous change! And it’s not simply dad and mom who must prepare — your firstborn does too.
As a social employee and a mother, I needed to assist my daughter regulate to being an enormous sister. Listed here are some ideas that labored for our household:
BEFORE THE BABY ARRIVES
- Contain your baby early
The earlier you contain your baby in getting ready for a brand new sibling, the higher! It will give her extra time to regulate. Permit her to ask questions. Relying upon her age, let her pick objects for the nursery or go to physician’s appointments. - Use easy and repetitive language
Name your baby an enormous sister or brother. Level to the newborn in your stomach. Let him speak to the newborn if he desires to. - Allow them to really feel their feelings
The anticipation of a brand new sibling can result in plenty of totally different emotions! Permit her to really feel all of them, even when it’s not pleasure. You may proceed to indicate your delight although she could not really feel that simply but. She could also be feeling concern, anger or frustration. - Spend one-on-one time collectively
Intention for every dad or mum to spend high quality one-on-one time with the older sibling every day. And attempt to proceed this even after the newborn arrives. Simply 10-Quarter-hour every day may also help her really feel reassured. This needs to be enjoyable and particular time to attach — not a time to show ABCs. - Use books and dolls
Books could be a useful gizmo to assist him perceive what to anticipate, how you can share, and potential feelings he’ll really feel. One instance is “I Am a Massive Sister” or “I Am a Massive Brother” by Caroline Jayne Church. Having a child doll may also help him follow issues like feeding and altering diapers. - Make a countdown
Counting down the times helped my daughter perceive when the newborn would arrive. It additionally helped construct pleasure. As we bought nearer, we took her for a enjoyable household outing. There we defined that she would go to together with her grandma and grandpa whereas we’re within the hospital with the newborn.
AFTER BABY ARRIVES
- Count on regressive behaviors
Regressive behaviors are possible after a significant life change! In different phrases, your baby could return to a conduct he’s already outgrown. This might embody having potty accidents or wanting a pacifier after beforehand giving it up. I like to recommend not being reactionary or calling consideration to it. As a substitute, encourage good behaviors with labeled reward and incorporate extra high quality time collectively. - Maintain routines the identical
A brand new sibling is a sufficiently big change! Attempt to keep away from some other main transitions for 8-12 weeks after the newborn is born. For instance, in case your older baby continues to be in a crib, wait earlier than switching to an enormous child’s mattress. - Handle expectations aloud
You may assist set the tone and handle expectations for each siblings by verbalizing them aloud — even when the newborn can’t perceive these phrases but. As an example, if the newborn is crying whereas I’m making lunch for my daughter, I don’t drop all the pieces instantly. I’ll say, “One minute, I would like to complete lunch after which I’ll decide you up.” It helps my older daughter perceive that I’ll nonetheless meet her wants, too. And generally I put her first. - Allow them to assist (if they need)
In case your baby desires to assist with the newborn, let him! It may possibly encourage bonding. That mentioned, keep away from forcing it or exhibiting destructive emotions if he isn’t . Giving particular reward for when he’s serving to and exhibiting kindness towards the newborn will assist to encourage extra of that fascinating conduct.